The More I Seek You

You would think that I always write about songs…Here’s another one that is speaking to me right now.

The more I seek you, the more I find you. I want to sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand…this love is so deep it’s more than I stand. I melt in your peace- it’s overwhelming.”  

The love of God.

I used to think of God as a mix between a distant judge who really wanted me to do the right thing and santa clause. I remember the night that image was shattered. 

I was at a harp and bowl and a young woman sang a song called “Your Love is Extravagant” and she sang it like she loved Jesus. She sang it like you’d sing a love song. And I thought- “Could Jesus really be my loving friend? Did he really love me? Was He really pursuing me?” I felt like I spent so much time chasing things…friends, acceptance, praise. Was Jesus really pursuing me? 

And do you know what? Jesus said yes. He said that he was close- so close. He said he would dance with me. And I danced to that song with a my Jesus. My beloved. Some one else read Song of Songs  where it says- “My beloved is white and rudy- Chief among ten-thousands. This is my beloved- this is my friend.” 

Have you ever longed for a friend? I have. I longed for a friend that would listen to me. Understand me. Forgive me. Be patient with me. For a friend that didn’t demand perfection or settle for my second best. For a friend that would smile at me. Care for me. A friend that would melt the hardened areas of my heart that I didn’t even know were hardened. 

In the last six-seven years, I’ve gone from thinking I loved to be alone. From thinking I could make it- sans friends, husband- just me and Jesus- that would be enough. To being so connected to a family of Jesus loving people. I don’t know what I would do with out them. I have a family. A husband. My husband is a gift from God and everyday he teaches me about the love of God. I had NO CLUE what unconditional love was until I met this man.

I am rambling now.

The more I seek you.

I have a feeling that we’re about to begin a new journey.
I will enjoy this trip.

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